Dr. Ralph Opacic explores the impact of military life on children through personal experience, and how it shapes responsible and resilient individuals. He shares his childhood story growing up in a military family and the values and skills that helped him succeed in life, even when faced with challenges. Delving into the importance of discipline, respect, diligence, and resilience, Dr Ralph Opacic explains how these traits are essential for achieving long-term goals. He provides a unique insight into the advantages of coming from a military family, emphasizing the value it brings despite the necessary sacrifices. He encourages a profound appreciation for the impact of military service on families.
Ralph Opacic’s Military Roots: A Foundation of Resilience
I grew up as the son of a marine. My father was the last of the Great Generation serving in WW2, Korea, and the Vietnam Wars. As most members of military families can attest, military life is not easy for anyone involved. Not for the officers sending troops to battle, the soldiers risking psychological and physical harm or death during their tours, or the loved ones waiting anxiously at home for a reunion that may never come. Despite the stress that comes with this sort of upbringing, it admittedly had significant benefits for me. My father served as an example of how someone can live a life of discipline, respect, and diligence. Having him as a role model played a huge part in making me a resilient person throughout my life. Without the skills I learned as a child, accomplishing even half of what I have so far in my life would have been virtually impossible.
Discipline: Getting Things Done, No Matter What
Pushing through the hard times, difficult decisions, and draining tasks is what discipline is all about. There is an element of courage in discipline because you do what needs to be done, no matter how scared (or uncomfortable) you may be. I learned this by observing how my father always dutifully did his job and expected the members of our family to do their part to contribute to the well-being of the entire household. The dirty dishes would never go neglected for days because someone didn’t happen to be in the mood to wash them. The leaking roof didn’t remain unrepaired for extended periods of time simply because someone would rather do something else. I didn’t fail to mow the grass because I didn’t feel like it on any particular day. It was my responsibility to cut the yard, so I did it. Being disciplined helps in various aspects of life, including romantic relationships, academic performance, parenting, athletic training, and employment. Without growing up in a military family where discipline was a regular part of life, I might not have developed this skill to the degree I have.
Respect: Thoughtful Regard for Others
It’s hard to be a service member (and you probably won’t be one for long) if you don’t understand the concept of respect. Soldiers like my father naturally learned to respect their superior officers. But they also learned to respect the people they serve, the families and friends who support them on a day-to-day basis, and even their enemies. Respecting someone’s rank, power, or skill doesn’t necessarily mean liking them or agreeing with how they use their authority or advantages. Respect means giving people their due.
In many cases, it involves being polite, honoring your commitments to others, and taking care of yourself enough to defend yourself when you are being maliciously targeted by someone. But respect also means taking the time to understand and properly estimate your adversaries. This doesn’t mean that you blow their abilities out of proportion to the point that you intimidate yourself and can’t fight. It also doesn’t mean the other extreme of dismissing them to the extent that you and others are harmed because you didn’t appropriately prepare to meet them in battle. From hearing how my father talked about his fellow soldiers to seeing the way he treated his wife and his children, I learned how important it was to be respectful to everyone that I met. By approaching people respectfully, I have found that I usually receive similar respect in return. But, on the rare occasions that I don’t, I know that I behaved in a respectful manner to the best of my ability, even if other people decided not to match my behavior.
Diligence: Working Toward Long-Term Goals
Many goals and milestones in our lives can seem out of our reach. They often take years or even decades to achieve, such as saving money for a major purchase or getting to the desired position in our industry. Fighting wars and moving up the ranks in the military are similarly huge tasks. The major difference between the people who finally achieve these long-term goals and those who don’t is that the successful ones don’t quit. They are patient and focused on the goal they have in mind, not letting anything distract them from it along the way. Careful and consistent effort gets them to where they want to be in life personally and professionally. My father’s journey of moving up the ladder in the marines and his conversations with us about our futures taught me this.
We understood that working our way along a specific path could lead us to what we wanted. But those results would rarely, if ever, come overnight. And if we strayed from the road before we reached the end, we’d have to wait longer to attain what we were striving for. We could go to college one day by making sure we maintained good grades in high school. We could buy a house one day by learning to save money until we were ready to make the purchase. We could be at the top of our fields one day if we started learning and growing our skills the moment we entered our chosen industries.
Resilience: Rising Again and Again
All these skills come together to create a more resilient person. Being resilient means that no matter how many times the world knocks us down, we get back up again. Whether it be military setbacks, health scares, or other complications in life, my father never let any situation get the best of him. He bounced back every time, and seeing him do so helped me believe I could do the same. No matter how much something hurt me, surprised me, or shook up my life, I knew I could get back on my feet and continue my journey to the next phase. I didn’t have to let those problems stop me from thriving.
Too many people give up on their goals and dreams when they hit their first difficulty and decide to stop trying. They don’t respect their goal enough to put more effort into it. They don’t have the discipline needed to push through the hard tasks and figure out how to get back on the path of what they want. They aren’t diligent enough to keep trying when the going gets tough. And all that adds up to them not being resilient enough to stand back up after they’ve been completely knocked off their chosen path.
Empathy: Shared Experiences
Learning empathy was another invaluable lesson from growing up in a military family. It extended beyond understanding the sacrifices of service members themselves to embracing the challenges faced by friends and families. Deployment periods heightened my awareness of the emotional toll on those left behind. Witnessing the camaraderie among military families, especially during times of grief or welcoming others into our community when their families were transferred into a new environment instilled in me a deep sense of compassion and connection. These experiences taught me that resilience wasn’t just an individual trait but a collective strength forged through shared understanding and compassion during the highs and lows of military life.
The Benefits of Military Life
Military families sacrifice a lot for the sake of their servicemembers, which also means that they are sacrificing a lot for our nation. Even though the military family lifestyle can come with some benefits, what these people give up every day shouldn’t go unrecognized as being part of the overall military effort of our country. Being part of a military service has a long-term impact on the personal growth and values of children and adults, including the service members themselves. I appreciate everything that being part of a military family taught me, even though I may have had to cede some things that other kids didn’t have to—some of my playtime, instances of sleeping in instead of getting up early, etc. I view this as a fair tradeoff because of what I gained from the experiences of having a father in the military. Alongside the rest of my wonderful family, I have my father to thank for making me the man I am today.
